


tomorrows are scary (without you)

by the_watchflower



Category: Mass Effect 2 - Fandom, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Bittersweet, Drabbles, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Multi, SPOILERS AHEAD, best teammates ever, loyalty missions, mostly mass effect 2 plot-wise, will add tags while adding chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-04 23:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11001048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_watchflower/pseuds/the_watchflower
Summary: "They certainly don't start easy. Unless having your body fully exposed and cut in pieces for 2 years under a certain officer's constant supervision counts as trust-building. (It doesn't.) It's not helping the case if she knows the exact number of moles on your body."Each chapter for each of Shepard's squadmates. Insight into their relationship and progress through the events of ME2. Started as drabbles, but somehow bloomed into full chapters.





	1. the prodigy

**Author's Note:**

> Zaeed's not gonna be included in this series, as I didn't have an occassion to play with him in my walkthrough. Might change it later, tho. Will add chapters regularly, along with the tags for characters, etc. Stay tuned!

  1. the prodigy




 

They certainly don't start easy. Unless having your body fully exposed and cut in pieces for 2 years under a certain officer's constant supervision counts as trust-building. _(It doesn't.)_ It's not helping the case if she knows the exact number of moles on your body. Shepard grows a bit of Big ~~Brother~~ /Sister complex at this point, but learns to accept that in time. Begins to see this as a way of protection, not the upper-hand. _(Not everyone's out to get her anyway. She thinks too highly of herself.)_ She tries to gather some intel too, but she's more of a soldier than a spy _(and she gets brushed off way too easily by "Not now, Shepard. Maybe another time.")_. But even more than a soldier, she's a human. It's what lets her get past Miranda's defences and finally see eye to eye _(but goddamn, if she gets another lecture about watching out for Cerberus fancy-ass equipment, she might just lose it.)_

 

They are kind of like the sun and the moon. Shepard shines, while Miranda reflects her light and directs it elsewhere. Altough sometimes she swears it's the other way around, with all the background work the older woman does. Shepard heard that polar opposites attract, even tough she never paid much attention in physics class. _Everything will eventually fall into place_ is her motto. And so it does, mission by mission, planet by planet. Everyday assigment summaries turn into work gossips and jokes and these turn into deep conversations if powered up by a glass of wine. Soon she learns that the word 'perfect' ticks off Miranda in the wrong way. Perfect body, perfect condition, perfect brain – it's all a perfect lie. Shepard has earned her position, while Miranda constantly has to defend hers. Or so she feels like.

 

Shepard tries to prove her wrong by taking her more often for the missions.

It ends in Miranda getting shot in the thigh and having to be carried back by Jacob.

 

 _Shit_.

 

But then Shepard locks herself in her room while EDI's having some re-configuration and only Miranda can help her out. She calls it even then.

* * *

Their friendship reaches it's peak-point when Miranda's sister is in trouble. Shepard agrees without hesitation, momentarily forgets about the Reapers. She hers her overprotective tone when she spills the details of the mission and gets flashbacks – or rather hearbacks – from what her unconscious self heard prior 2 years back. A quick smirk escapes her lips, as she's not even listening to what her teammate has to say. _**"Let's blow these fuckers up."**_ she says confidently and proudly leaves the conference room.

_(Miss Lawson is left dumb-founded with a concentrated look on her never-aging face. Blow what? The calibrators?)_

 

It ends in succes as expected, with just a few bruises or scratches here and there. Even the hole after the betrayal of an old friend is filled with warmth after the talk between sisters. Shepard sometimes wishes she had a sister like Miranda back then, someone to take care of her and restrain her recklessness, but never dares to admit it. The term 'sister' is lifetime long reserved. She gets an email later on from Oriana, though. Is being called "the guardian angel" for looking after Miss Lawson. Shepard's been called many names, mostly just commander, but never this. It stings her heart a bit and she hopes she can maintain her halo. ( _She has already died once, maybe she really has become an angel, with a shotgun.)_

* * *

Only once the topic of having a future family is being brought-on and even then, briefly discussed. Simply summerized by "maybe when it's all over." But then Shepard gets a chance to look at Miranda's mail thanks to Shadow Broker's generosity and learns that there will be a hollow place in her friend's stomach forever waiting to be filled. Her perfect body is not so perfect, after all.

Shepard looks at her own flat, but muscled stomach and can't imagine it being a bubble either. But it's still possible. That thought is not comforting at all.

* * *

On some nights they exchange nothing but floor plans of Omega's buildings, on others they catch themselves off-guard while almost falling asleep choosing the hottest Turian _(they don't even put Garrus on the list. It's out of the question)_. Whenever one falls, another soon picks them up again.They complement each other like parts of the machine. Shepard takes one step, then Miranda takes another. That's how their _walking together_ works. And it gets them this far.

 

**In the end, when they stay in front of the reaper-human larva, there's not one guardian angel, but two.**

 


	2. the bulldog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob is unique in a way he serves her, almost like a stray puppy she could've saved from hunger. He gets the order, he follows it. Only Jacob doesn't bark as much as he bites. And doesn't flip his tail in happiness when the enemies are down either.

  1. the bulldog

 




 

He's the third new face Shepard sees after she awakens _(nevermind Wilson – he got shot anyway for treason, and there's not enough place in her memory for betrayals)_. It's also her favourite one to analyse – forever furrowed brows, wrinkles in between them and focused eyes. Fully trained ex-marine, with full pack of controlled reactions. _**"Fuck that shit"**_ – maybe not that one, as it goes when they almost crash into the Normandy SR-2.

 

From his files she learns about his marine past. They both have been soldiers for the Alliance and both went renegade. They both felt the uppermost dissapointment when let down by these they promised to serve. So they should easily get along, in theory. Spectres should not plot with Reapers on how to destroy every civilization in the universe, either. In theory. Reapers were just a theory not so long ago, too. To some still are.

 

These days, it seems like everything's just a theory until proven otherwise.

* * *

 

 

At first they only meet in the Armory Room. Load, aim, shoot, repeat. Adjust some changes and then try again. He's a real gunnery master and watching him work is fascinating – as if it was just a kid with his toys. Very _dangerous_ toys. Shepard tries to laugh it off when Jacob's gun only blows up some smoke instead of shooting the target, but he just shrugs.

_(- No time for jokes, when you can die._

_\- No time for jokes when you are dead, either.)_

After that she plays a smuggler, trying to fit the personal questions between facts about ballistic markings. Surprisingly, it works. Jacob, just as her, understands the need and importance of knowing your crew well. Like what they prefer to eat in the morning or when they can possibly betray you.

 

_But Jacob won't ever betray her. She can tell that right away._

* * *

 

Shepard can see the ghosts lingering off his back, knows them all too well from her Alliance days. They yawn when he gets shot and moan when he mounts over the pain. They are jealous, cause Jacob is alive and they are not. They dig into his back and he carries them, altough his knees are shaking. Shepard wants to take the weight off him, but he doesn't let her. Says it's not the right time. ( _Dammit, there won't be a right time if you are pierced by Collector's beam!)_ The voice of reason won't work but the view of citizens being carried away in Collector's ship will. It mocks his soldier reasoning and forces him to move on. But not everything can be left behind so easily.

 

In time they learn to trust each other with more than just words and stop aiming at each other's targets during missions. Soon, there's some unknown special loyalty between them and Shepard really feels like a commander again and not as a teacher in a kindergarten full of random killers. Jacob is unique in a way he serves her, almost like a stray puppy she could've saved from hunger. He gets the order, he follows it. Only Jacob doesn't bark as much as he bites. And doesn't flip his tail in happiness when the enemies are down either. This forever stoic approach is both comprehendable and irritating. Feels like she's forever walking in the eye of the tornado, untill one day, even within it is not safe. It's the day he gets the signal from his father's wrecked ship.

 

 _ **"Suppoused to be dead for 10 years."**_ She's not really surprised, she isn't. Not the first person to come back from the dead _(she laughs at the thought while combing her hair in the mirror. She'd make a shitty comedian. It's a good thing she can shoot, at least)._

 

When he asks for permission to go investigate, the spark in his eyes make it impossible to decline. It's no longer the puppy eyes look, it's full blackness of a suppermassive black hole. And it seems to be sucking everything into it as they discover the truth. This kind of a truth that just waits to be uncovered and spit in your eyes. Provoking and frustrating. But he appears to be holding himself pretty well. No outburts, no denial, as if he already suspected as much. But should she really be surprised by his behaviour at this point? _(should she be the same if such a thing could ever happen to her own father if he still lived?)_

 

Jacob does all he can to reduce the damage done by his father. He feels strongly responsible, even if for having the same blood as Ronald ~~and the same face~~. When they confront, it's way too personal to interfere. She just lets him do whatever he wants to, she owes him as much. His mercy doesn't really come as surprise to her and she's glad it's this way than the other. **"Casualties"** is such an ugly word. They save most of the women and gets a lot of thank-you emails later on. Shepard passes them all to Jacob, but changes the sender's name from hers to theirs. And hopes Miranda won't tell him (she learned she hacks her mail when she accidentally let is slip about the Oriana's mail).

* * *

 

The thought of something romantic between Miranda and Jacob is quite funny, to put it frankly. It explains a lot of tension at their quaries and justifies the undying trust she often witnesses between her teammates. Shepard tries to uncover more of this romance, but Jacob isn't too keen on leashing out the information. _(No spicy details then, this sucks)_. But all the while speaks about his former lover with a great respect. Shepard almost wishes she had been his ex instead, just so someone else could hear such nice things about her.

 

_(She doesn't know it, but Jacob tells even nicer things about her)._

* * *

 

It's hard for her to define the true base of their friendship. Is it the Alliance past, the way they both shake their arm after a failed shot, or the heart that has sworn to protect. She guesses it's all of these. With a bit of the dog approach.

 

**She call him bulldog once, and learns that he can bite her, too.**

**So she was wrong in her last judgement. And she's glad that she was.**

 


	3. the thief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The information Kasumi randomly lets out about herself are like small stars shining in the darkness of her enigmatic persona. Individually they make no sense, but Shepard connects them like little dots and the stars creates constellations like the ones they sometimes paint together after especially stresfull missions as a part of therapy.

iii. the thief

 

It's always better to have a thief close to you than at whatever place they are hiding at the moment. At least it's easier to tell right away when and what goes missing _(or so Shepard believes until she finds her favourite shotgun in the observatory after two months)_. Kasumi's kleptomania isn't really concerning as long as enemy troops still take up majority on victims scale. Or until commander gets one too many complaint, which she just can't deal with beacause _**"people are dying, who cares about your stuffed krogan mascot"**_ – but still, she tries to be considerate and personally retreats the missing item. It's kind of relief that Kasumi's got no problem with keeping the stuff all to herself.

 

Taking into posession and posessing are two different things, after all.

 

She's got a different gallery of her own treasures, which she eagerly invites Shepard to look at. They probably say more about her than she would like to let on, however the young girl has no problem telling tales about her heists on Illium or a rescue mission aboard a slaver ship.

 

If there's one thing that thieves can't help but disclose, it's their succeses.

 

But Kasumi's gallery is not entirely made of materialistic posessions. It also consists of short comments on the crew, interesting anegdotes or memories that she's stolen from other people. She surrounds herself with information of all kind. Sometimes they are amusing additions to the everyday struggle, but they can also be awkwardly emberassing and Shepard wishes she had never ~~asked~~ heard them.

 

Kasumi steals many random things, from toothbrushes to personal photos, but she still fails miserably trying to steal any glances from certain armory officer.

 

_"Beautiful and good_

_Punishing with his kindness_

_Jacob is perfect"_

 

Shepard tries very hard not to cringe at the last sentence as she quickly puts the paper with the haiku on its previous place and hopes that Kasumi won't notice the slightly different angle of its lay. She has no idea how she could get out of this one. Defeating a legion of Collectors seems easier than making up any excuses for this invasion of privacy. She's not really the noisy type of commander, it just so happenned that she noticed the paper and investigated it. In case it was dangerous _(sure, a dangerous note, you're a terrible liar, Shepard)._

 

So when Kasumi shots her a few rather piercing glances over the table at the dinner, Shepard pretends not to notice. Silence is golden, as Kasumi said when they first met.

 

_(She later gets a report from Jacob about his missing...boxers. Commander's reluctant to comment on this one, too.)_

 

She ensures the thief's loyalty in quite an interesting mission. It's not everyday she's got the occasion to kick some asses and still look good while doing it. This is her first professional heist ever and after it's done the warm and proud feeling in her chest make her understand her companion a bit more. It grows even bigger when Kasumi makes the right choice at the end. _(Or at least the choice she would do herself; not really sure if any of her choices could be called "right" looking from the perspective of time... no. No time to doubt yourself now.)_

 

And so the thief hides her memories and love in the strongest treasure chest to ever exist and totally impossible to hack: her heart. This way, it can't be taken from her untill thrown in the grave.

Shepard secretly admires her love for Keiji despite the circumstances and thinks about her own lover. Hopes the death won't ever do them apart, but also knows it's a shallow wish to make.

 

The information Kasumi randomly lets out about herself are like small stars shining in the darkness of her enigmatic persona. Individually they make no sense, but Shepard connects them like little dots and the stars creates constellations like the ones they sometimes paint together after especially stresfull missions as a part of therapy.

 

**The stars they draw are so small compared to the original,**

**but small things matter, too.**

 


End file.
